Crikey: Here is the ‘Vogue’ Writer Who Criticized Melania’s Shoes

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Yesterday Vogue had one of their opinion contributors release utter hell on the First Lady. She criticized Melania’s outfit boarding Air Force One as a failure of the White House to understand ‘optics’. It’s interesting she mentions optics, because we aren’t very certain what message the woman is trying to portray with her ‘look’. The beast goes by the name Lynn Yaeger whom wears a wig-like bright red cap, black lipstick, white-powder on her face and dots of blush on her cheeks. If you think I’ve described a clown, that’s pretty much what Yaeger looks like. “Oh, Melania,” Lynn Yaeger curdled in her article. “In the words of the late, great Lou Reed, you ‘couldn’t hit it sideways.’” An unspeakable Eldritch horror from the depths of aeons and untouched by mortal creatures funneled her disapproval over Melania Trump’s snakeskin stilettos yesterday into an article for Vogue magazine.   “This morning, Mrs. Trump boarded Air Force One wearing a pair of towering pointy-toed snakeskin heels better suited to a shopping afternoon on Madison Avenue or a girls’ luncheon at La Grenouille,” Lynn Yaeger–’who hails from a beneath-the-floorboards, cannibalistic tribe of journalists known as Contributing Fashion Editors at Vogue– howled,’ reports Milo. When the beast was told by a spokesperson that the graceful Melania had a change of shoes awaiting her on the plane, that didn’t dissuade Yaeger. “But what kind of message does a fly-in visit from a First Lady in sky-high stilettos send to those suffering the enormous hardship, the devastation of this natural disaster?” she grumbled. Milo continues, ‘according to Internet lore, the immortal spent 20 years writing for the now-collapsing weekly The Village Voice before joining Vogue. She is suspected to have the ability to cast spells over other cretins who stalk the pages of fashion magazines, as evidenced in a 2016 New York Times Style Section profile titled “Lynn Yaeger: Fashion Muse.”’ “Sing, muse, of crinolines piled in layers, of blunt-cut bobs and Cupid’s bow lips?” the paper wrote. “Inspirations come in many forms during the fashion collections. It has been a surprise, though not an unwelcome one, to find that this season, an unexpected one joins their ranks: the fabulously eccentric fashion writer Lynn Yaeger.”

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